CompUSA won't install my Airport card! Because I tried to do it myself. ~_~ Bastards! Bastards! Bastards!

Okay. So my next option is... have Mom mail me my iBook manual. Look over the instructions. Maybe they'll make more sense than the ones I found and I can do it myself. I hope. And I was right about CompUSA.

Them: "Have you opened it?"
Me: "Yeah..."
Them: *digusted, irritated sigh*

Bastards.

EDIT: Oh look at that. I started to change my mood theme, then changed my mind (since I got it from someone else, I decided I could make a better one on my own). And now it's all weird looking. Damn. Oh well. *goes back to making her own*

Cade (cade_jones) wrote a babbling, head-purging, heart-purging private journal entry. hadrian_uni people, anytime my characters do journal entries that you can't reply to, that means they're private. It would defeat the purpose if I made them truly private, wouldn't it? ^^ Phew. Now, if Dani says it's okay I can write up a profile later for this professor that rhyein won't stop poking me to make. :p

No I go to bed.


HA! And "Flames" comes on just as I'm getting to lay down! Oh, Cade, you're so--- I don't know what!

BED NOW.

I have been to the bathroom five, maybe six times, since I came back from Gramma's. I. Feel. Shitty. Literally. The last time I went I was in so much pain I thought I'd throw up. Nothing I ate at Gramma's should be making me sick. This is just some random flare-up and I don't like it. I get infused next week sometime, but UGH! Maybe it's stress. That would make sense. A lot of sense. *chills* Yeah, I'm gonna be eating klonopin like candy come Friday.

Soup beans, soup beans, good for your heart.

But not your ass.

I made out like a bandit at Gramma's. Shana ended up getting me a ton of stuff.

- Some big blue cups
- Some blue microwaveable bowls
- Some wine glasses
- Four small glasses
- measuring cups & spoons (which I already have, so Dani, if you want them you can have them. May come in handy making mashed taters and stuff. ^^;\)
- an ashtray (but since I allow no smoking and have an ashtray already, Dani, you can have this too)
- some coasters
- an awesome cat rug
- a bakeware set

Ummm... I think that's all. Mom got me some more towels and a kitty windchime. Carolene got me this really neat carved stone cat thing that I plan on setting on my entertainment center. Gramma got me this Asian looking fake plant thing. I'm not sure where to put it. Mom has a marble top table I would really like to have, but I'm not sure if it's in use or storage. I don't want to take it if it's in use.

Dad has me really confused. I have no idea when I will be moving, I just know Friday Mom and I are going back to pack all my crap in boxes. I guess we'll have to sleep at Dani's or something.

I have a cable bill that needs paid. o_o

Jesus Christ, I know Gramma poisoned the soup beans. >_<;;;

Okay, so I didn't pack up and leave like I said I was going to. I laid down and fell asleep instead. And though I'm up now and have packed dirty clothes and put away dirty items (decided to fib about the tin of pleasures since it's not that bad, really) I really don't feel like moving. My right eye is sleepy, my stomach hurts, I'm groggy and bleh feeling. I should probably take a shower. Or something.

EDIT: Why the hell does my sleepy icon never work?! It used to work at some point in time! Meh, think I'm gonna change my moodicons anyway.

Also, little more awake now. Shower will definitely help.

Okay! I've been up all night, but it's okay! I will pack dirty clothes! I will put away all sexual items so my parents won't see them when we're packing Saturday! I will dump the litter from Sai's litterbox! I will pack Sai! I will get some cappaccino! I will get some gas! I will go home! Because I can't afford to fall asleep and not go. v_v

Drama alert! Drama alert!

And here I thought my boy wouldn't get no drama action! He's passed out over here with the drama!

Ahem. kyaa drew me art!!! Cade!!!

A-freaking-dorable. Smile right on. Eyes right on. DENIM JACKET AND RINGER T!

Alright. Putting hadrian_uni down now. Well, down as far as writing about it goes. >.>

P.S. Hoodie!Jace!

Okay, putting it down now! *runs*

Food makes everything better. It's truly amazing.

Dani came home drunk and let me cry on her shoulder a little. Then she showed me her new car (well, first the apartment, which felt so niiiice and made me excited to move into mine again, thank GOD). Her car is nice. It has a sunroof. When Mom and Dad bought the Accord, they wanted to get one with a sunroof, but they liked that one on the lot so much they just got it. And it would've costed more with a sunroof.

I want a sunroof! :( My Gramma's car has a sunroof. But dude, Gramma has a KICKASS car. It's this little gold Ford Escort. It is way shibby. The other day we were talking about what we wanted to inherit when Gramma dies (we're so morbid!) and Carolene was like, "I want this [blah blah blah] lamp!" and I'm like, "I want the car!" I got dibs on that car, man. Oh yeah. Too bad it's not paid off. *coughs*

I sound like I'm planning to knock off my Gramma.

The cats are laying around in the moving mess. Why does this amuse me?

I had a weird dream about Supermarket Sweep, kittens, graveyards, video games, deformed-monster-RK-action-figure-Saito with no pants on, Wynona Rider, all kinds of weird shit, man. WEIRD SHIT.

I need more pop.

Being alone is cool. It'll feel better in my apartment though. Final product. Must concentrate on final product.

WAI! I want a papasan! *looks up papasans online*

I took a nap. About three hours or so and cuddled my pillow real good (think that was Cade trying to cuddle Jace or something - very strong feeling there). I had lucid dreams about Lucas Hart. *eyes spin* It was weird.

Sai pooped in the floor. Moving stress and messy litterboxes caused that, I'm sure.

So I called my parents. We made plans. Tomorrow I will most likely be going home. Sunday at Gramma's they're going to have me a little housewarming. I'm touched, honestly. They said it's not much, but still. Yeah... so I'll probably be in Hazard all this week, then Saturday Mom, Dad, and me are coming back to sign my lease and start packing and moving things. Then we're going back home. Then we're coming back the seventh with furniture and stuff. Mom and I are spending the night and the eighth I'm supposed to get infused. I have to call and tell them my new address for that though, because for some reason I thought I'd still be in this apartment. Dumb me.

I am dying for a frapaccino. Frappacino. WHATEVER! I want one!! So cold and caffienated. WAH! I can't spell caffeien! Caffiene! Is that right? Caffeine? Caffiene. Right. Okay. Whatever.

Guys. It is so stuffy in here. Seriously.

I don't want this cedar nightstand in my room, but dammit, what would I put my alarm clock on if I don't take it? Dammit.

*resists urge to go to gas station for frappy* Damn, now I want a cigarette too.

*burrows into random people* Thank you, guys, for all the concern and love and luck and stuff. :} I <3 you guys.

I called my mom because I couldn't take it anymore. I started sobbing on the phone and had a total manic attack. I talked to her for over half an hour, while she drove. She said I could come home after Dani gets moved, but what does that leave me? I still have to pack this shit. Which I got two boxes packed at least. I feel like, no, I know that I don't have the concentration and organization skills to do these sorts of things without spazzing the fuck out. I can't see past packing and moving boxes right now. I can't see the final product in my head. And I keep freaking out. I scratched together some change and went to Dairy Queen for a cheeseburger because I was tired and hungry and I don't have any money and I'm barely fit to drive. I need to take a klonopin, half a klonopin, and lay down. But I have RP dates that I don't want to miss. Yes, RP comes before RL. Hahahahaha. Dude, I'm to that point of exhaustion where I'm seeing things. I keep thinking there are bugs on the side of my monitor. Lay down. I need to lay down. Sorry guys. I need to lay down. Just for a little while.

No signed lease for me. I made my appointment for 2:30, went to sign it and... was denied.

*gasp!* you say! It's not as dramatic as I make it sound, trust me.

Remember how I worried over paying two rents - one for the old apartment and one for the new? Turns out if I sign my lease NEXT month I only pay rent on the one bedroom. But that also means I have to be moved out by the second weekend of April - April 13th, I think. *checks calendar* Eleventh, excuse me. Yeah, I gotta be outta here by the 11th. ARGH. She has this apartment rented out to someone already, therefore I have to move earlier than expected. *sags* I hope we don't have problems. Dad's got two weeks vacation next month, but I'm pretty sure it's AFTER the week of the third. Fucking fuck. I'm mildly irritated and anxious and upset about it. I can't get Dad on the phone. Mom is out with Carolene, but she wouldn't know what to do about it anyway and if I called her and told her she'd just freak out and worry and I don't want to do that to her. So I'm just waiting patiently and will keep trying them until someone answers at the house.

I'm really okay. Really. I put on some of the Bath & Body Works vanilla bean lotion Auntie Heather alpharyoko got me for my birthday and now I smell like a cookie and it makes me happy. Peps my mood anyway. Oh yeah, and I only have $69 in the bank. *sweatdrop* I was sure I had more than that, but I've withdrawn a lot of cash this month and I spent too much at the first of the month (on manga, of course) so... yeah. That's what I get.

Mommy Marlene is here. I'm pretty sure her and Dani are next door at Dani's apartment. If they are they're spending an awful long time over there. *sighs* I really cannot procrastinate anymore. I have to start packing now. Wish me luck, you guys. I will seriously need.

I might have to take half a klonopin a day to get through this.

I'm tired and I've barely been awake 12 hours. And I'm hungry too and it wasn't that long ago that I ate. Was it? I can't remember.

So I have to make an appointment to sign my lease. My apartment is now ready to be moved into. I left a message at the leasing office, so hopefully they'll call me back soon and I can sign my lease today and get the keys to my digs. I'm a little worried. I can't deny that I'll be disappointed if mine doesn't have bling Dani's does.

I don't know if her parents are coming today or tomorrow. Either way the whole moving experience, even if it's not me moving, is starting to make me a nervous wreck. It doesn't help that I'm tired and hungry. I want to lay down with a fan blowing on me. Just take a little nap. I'm notorious for taking maps and not waking up though. I feel so drained. Hot and drained. I probably should take a shower, but I think I'll lay down with the phone and wait for the leasing office to call back first.

Animal by Eels
For Jace

If i could love you
im sure i would
if i could hold you
and feel understood
i'd be there now
but i don't know how
cause i am an animal

bundle of rags
wrap me tight
keep me safe inside
warm at night

i am no more,
i am not good
i am so sorry
if you misunderstood
i'd make it up
but i cannot
if i am an animal

Cade has eaten my brain and as I do this scene with Cade and Jace I listen to this on repeat...

( Make it Home by Juliana Hatfield )

Yeah, I know it's just us and our little tender hearts, but it's making it all . . . sweeter than anything. *tips hat to the Peej and to the Juliana*

I have a therapy appointment today at 11!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

I was telling Dani that kyaa needs to draw her boy Jace with neko ears, paws, and tail, that it would be the cutest thing ever. In response, Dani put on her black neko ears that itschuk made her and still has them on. But she also said Jace might kill Kyaa if she tried to draw him like that. That wouldn't be good. :(

We've always had problems ordering from Pizza Hut. We call every Pizza Hut in Lexington until one says they can deliver to us. I don't know what the big problem about delivering to us is - we're close to Tates Creek, New Circle, and Nicholasville. The first place I called didn't have delivery, and when I heard this I pulled a big ol' Cade and went, "Uhhh..." into the phone and hung up. >_<;;;; So the next place I called told me to call Boston Road, who said they could deliver to West Reynolds, but not East Reynolds. WTF? They're just across the road from each other! So they told us to call Saron Drive. So I called Saron Drive and they said to call Boston Road, to which I replied, "I just called Boston Road, they told to call you." And he said, "Well, I can't help you with that. We can't deliver to you. They're off Nicholasville, they're closer." So I called Boston Road back and told them we could find no one to deliver to us, people kept directing me to them and I didn't know what the fuck to do. So they finally gave in and said they'd deliver to us (fucking bastards) and gave us a coupon (that's right, fuckers, we deserve it!).

So. Pizza Hut in Lexington is on crack.

Dani and I went to the Box Stop and got twenty boxes, ten each, for twenty dollars. I think that's pretty cool. Then we drove by Dairy Queen and grabbed some food, came in and ate it, I got sick to my stomach so I laid down to digest, then was tired and rested my eyes, and the boxes are still in the trunk of the car. *sighs* Tomorrow!

Both my Hadrian boys are very lonely. Ross's Charles is gone with Cade's Nicolas and they're both killing me with loneliness and horniness. SOMEONE RP WITH ME! KEEP THESE GUYS DISTRACTED! Actually tonight I would really love to do the club scene with Jace, Cade, and Hiketsu. I might have to get on Kou the Big Bad PC though, which makes me sad because it's lonely in my room all by my lonesome. :( I tried adding the people that iChat wouldn't let me add and it never gave me an error message so maybe Ryo et al. will show up for me. Stupid fucking AIM and iChat being weirdos.

My cat is lying next to me stretched out asleep and it is the cutest thing ever. I love her.

I can't believe Dani's going to be moved out this weekend. It's . . . crazy! Sai is going to be so freaked out. I'm going to be lonely for a while, just trying to straighten things up here, but it's okay. It'll help me get used to being alone. And Dani's just gonna be across the parking lot. :p

This evening's Cade report calls for relationship woe, pining for the French slut who can't help it, meeting a beautiful broody boy and having fleeting fantasies of waking up beside him, feeling unwanted, feeling lonely, feeling irritated, feeling hungry and helpful and thankful for peanut butter and honey sandwiches and tall glasses of milk.

The Ross report calls for sucking cock and jacking off and being in love.

Cade to Ross: I fucking hate you.

Ross to Cade: And I get to go on a cruise too!!!!! XD

Cade: *weeps quietly into pillow*